Heidi Montag and Lauren Conrad are taking their chick-fight from the small screen to the runway, with the launch of Heidi’s fashion line, self-congratulatingly titled Heidiwood.

We thought the trashy tartlet’s portfolio couldn’t get any worse after her Spencer-directed video Higher, but just when we started to feel sympathy for her many public humiliations, she goes and stabs herself in the stiletto-clad foot yet again by trying to be a fashion designer.

Her line launched at the Hollywood and Highland Mall, and featured a bevy of skinny, blonde Heidi-clones strutting their stuff to Heidi’s screech-beats in the background – no surprise given the so-called starlet’s tacky penchant for self-promotion seen here on TMZ.

There’s just one problem. The clothes are terrible. Heidi’s line is a combo of trashed-up stripperwear and beachy-blah t’s and minis – a strange mix, but nothing we don’t see every Saturday when we hit the Old Navy then follow up with a lap dance at the local strip bar. Right…

There’s not a spark of creativity to be found in her clothes, which doesn’t say much for Heidi’s endorsement of the line before its launch:

“I plan to get my hands dirty on this one,” she said. “Each and every piece will have my initial input, feedback and final approval stamped all over it.”

Well if these outfits are the product of Heidi getting her hands dirty, we suggest she head over to the bathroom sink and clean up - lord knows we could all use a shower at the thought of putting these clothes on our body.

We’ll pass you on to the fashion professionals at New York Magazine to critique the quality of the line, but from a style standpoint, Heidiwood skankwear is not coming within 10 feet of our precious closet space…unless, of course, we’re seeking a career change.

Heidi's clothing line is aptly named, because that’s obviously where she’s living - Heidiwood, population one deluded, fame-hungry wannabe. With the launch of this latest endeavor, she completes the unHoly Triad of (bad) acting, (bad) singing and (bad) fashion sense, just like so many wannabes before her.

The best that can be said about the Heidiwood collection is that all the pieces are priced under $50. But our recommendation is that you save your money and put it towards a piece from Lauren’s clothing line. While her pieces may not be the most original either, at least you don’t have to worry about people confusing you for a…well, you know…while you’re waiting for the bus.