Miley Cyrus, the latest Britney Spears-esque star-on-the-brink, is caught yet again playing kissy-face with a mysterious young man...wait, haven’t we already written this story?
No, it is in fact a different picture, even though Miley’s face and pose are pretty much identical to the previous racy photos that leaked onto the Internet. Yawn. We’re really tired of taking Miley’s side on the private photos issue when these pictures keep coming and coming.
We know what you're thinking, why do we bother even covering this story if that’s our attitude towards Miley? Well the truth is it’s because it’s Hump Day and we’re bored.
In light of that, we’ve prepared a self-indulgent rant for the occasion that we like to call:
Say Cheese or Become Cheese?
It used to be that when a camera came out at a party with friends, pictures were snapped spontaneously and you took your chances that - because you were happy and having a good time - some of those pics were bound to capture the great time you were having in a flattering way. Maybe not all of them, but probably one or two would be worthy of pinning to your wall.
But nowadays, it seems no one can be caught on camera without first orchestrating an elaborate pose or a carefully-choreographed attempt to show off their assets, and half the time, the person in the picture is the one doing the snapping in a pathetic and much-overdone attempt to document themselves as sexy.
Check out profile shots on Facebook or MySpace, and count the number of “I’m so serious and deep, but here’s a glimpse of my cleavage and pouty lips” poses people have created for themselves – trust us, we’re right.
I guess we can thank the digital age for no one ever having to be caught on camera again with eyes half open or a piece of spinach in their teeth. But you know what? We sort of miss those days.
End of Rant.
Okay, back to the story. If we had a chance to talk to Miley the Poser in person (and we’d keep a 3-foot distance lest the young celeb stick a camera in our face and try to liplock), we would say this:
Stop it with the pics already. The world is not your MySpace page and we’re tired of random shots of you pseudo-smooching on some poor, young, sexually frustrated teenage boy who wishes you would gaze into his eyes with the same fervour you do the camera. Give it, and your EasyShot, a rest – that’s what we would say.
You can check out the latest Miley picture on PerezHilton and judge for yourself. But in the meantime, there’s a little quote from Albert Einstein we’d like to leave you with, in dedication to Miley:
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
Well we're no Einstein, but we say, any girl who is kissing a boy while concerning herself with posing for the camera is not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
And she needs to get a life.
