Heidi Montag, hound dog to the press, has recently set her sights on a more holy exploitation bandwagon with a planned Christian album – and boyfriend Spencer Pratt is right there clutching the fame strings behind her.
In past weeks, Heidi and Spencer have been openly photographed (no surprise) in front of churches and clutching Bibles in a desperate attempt to appear spiritual, and thus we assume, lay the proper religious groundwork for her new project.
FAIL.
But they’re not stopping their spiritual slapstick at just photos. Heidi is unveiling her new spiritual side in a string of recent interviews with the media.
"I have been the most religious person since I was 2 years old,” she expounded to Us! Magazine. “I always felt this crazy connection to God."
The self-proclaimed non-denominational Baptist also credits Jesus for her success with her clothing line, Heidiwood, claiming “Jesus gave me fashion,” and pimping her designer bags as great Bible carriers.
Check out this self-serving, ego-stroking video. Hey, if a Heidiwood handbag doesn’t give you some church cred, we don’t know what will!
Heidi recently even went so far as to compare herself to Jesus, claiming that through all the rumors of her supposed sex tape, her religious beliefs kept her strong.
“God knows the truth in all of this, and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I’m going to get persecuted, ya know?”
Well said, Heidi. You and Jesus sure have it rough. But Jesus didn’t have a boyfriend who offered to make the sex tape and sell it for a million dollars. So it looks like you win.
Father Spencer
Speaking of Spencer, you might be wondering what his role in Heidi’s latest spiritual trend will be. Manager, money-grubber and typical sleaze-bag of course…but now he’s doing his media whoring in a Jesus T-shirt.
He’s also accompanying Heidi on a trip to Africa to “feed children and help build things,” and even threw out the idea of adopting a baby while they’re there. Or you know, maybe whatever…stuff and…things can help the two claw their way into the spotlight yet again.
In the meantime though, he’s focusing on Heidi’s music, proclaiming it will “save the world.” Would that be the gag-reflex triggering "Higher" with its accompanying boob-fest beach video that will take mankind to a higher plane? Or maybe it’s her latest track "One More Drink" with the line “I’m goin’ home with you if I have one more drink.”
Maybe she means she’s going home with The Lord if she has one more drink…of Holy Water. That must be it.
Frankly though, we’re not buying any of Heidi and Spencer’s recent holier-than-thou press and we bet their new gimmick won’t last any longer than her popularity on The Hills.
Oh and Heidi? Jesus called. He said skip the Christian homage tunes and just go back to your synth-pop screech tracks. So long as you continue to prance around in a bikini.
Team Heidi or Team Lauren?
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